Biking Basics

     I have recently resurrected my enjoyment of motorcycles and motorcycle riding. Now, please bear in mind that I have not been an active motorcycle rider since I was a teenager.  Now that was quite a few years ago (or only minutes depending on your understanding of the space time continuum) and I either forgot or didn't know some very important things about the motorcycle lifestyle.

Point #1 Motorcycle riding requires one very social activity. Waving

Being a motorcycle rider apparently requires waving muscles usually only had by Queens, beauty pageant contestants, and clowns.

everyone wave back at the creepy clown or he will come to your home :)

I have waved to more people in the since I have been riding my motorcycle than I had all of my adult life up until that point. The main recipients of the motorcycle wave are these guys.

That's right, the majority of hand waves generated throughout the world are between motorcyclists. Well they are kind of between motorcyclists I should say, which leads me to point number 2.

Point #2 Motorcyclists are snobs

The type of motorcycle I own is what is known as a "cruiser" bike. 

I only wish I were this cool though

As you can see the "cruiser" bike is what most of us think of as the classic american motorcycle. If you own a "cruiser" you are automatically in the club no matter how clumsy or dopey looking you are on that bike. Now being in the club apparently requires you to wave at every rider on every cruiser bike that you see, and trust me there are a lot of them. I pass roughly 100 on my ride to work each morning.

Now please remember that we are traveling at speeds well beyond what our bodies consider to be sane levels. So, to wave, we have to take one hand off of the handlebars giving us half the control that we should have. And you wonder why we wear helmets..... And, it doesn't end with just waving. If another "cruiser" pulls up beside you in traffic you are obliged to check out each others rides thus detracting even more from our control. On occasion, I have been even been prompted for the most sacred of acts, the fist bump.

Just remember though, these rules only apply if you are riding a "cruiser" and see another "cruiser". This does not apply for any of the other bikers you will see. Especially the "crotch rocket" bikes.

We wish we were as cool as the guy in the "cruiser" picture

"Crotch Rocketeers" and "Cruisers" apparently don't mix well together (for an example read The Outsiders). No matter what the circumstance, when a "crotch rocketeer" comes upon me in traffic they lift their head up and accelerate. It is not just me they do this to, but every "cruiser" that they see, and as I mentioned before there are thousands cruising the streets daily. I would suspect that is why every time you see a "crotch rocketeer" they are traveling at approximately mach 1.5

Then, there are the guys riding the extra large bikes that have more closet space than my house.

yes, I do have 2 weeks worth of clothes with me right now

These are known as "touring bikes" and they take up as much room as most cars on the roadway. While they are nowhere near as obnoxious as the "crotch rocketeers" you still do not wave at "tourismos". When coming upon them in traffic the "tourismo" will look at a "cruiser" and give an almost imperceptible head nod (which means I used to have your life until I came into some money) and continue on at their leisurely speed. No "cruiser" I have yet seen has the intestinal fortitude to wave at a "tourismo" out of fear of some long dead biker gypsie curse.

While there are many other types of bikes on the road, these are the main three of today's world no matter how many biker programs you watch that tell you America is being overrun by "Choppers" which coincidentally brings me to point three.

Point #3 There are a lot of television shows about motorcycles, and you notice them all.

I had planned on writing out a list of them here such as American Chopper, The Devil's Ride, etc... but Lord Google informed me that there were so many more than I thought, so if you are that interested in the other shows you can see a list here for yourself. Sadly this list does not contain either of my two favorite motorcycle programs.

visual clues are the best

The show Sons of Anarchy has been on television for several years but I could have given two craps about it until I started looking for a motorcycle to purchase, then I could not get enough of the show. There has to be some part of my brain that subconsciously interjects me into each of the shows; especially during the waving scenes that mostly make up the program. You will notice that all of "Sons" are riding "cruisers" because they are naturally the coolest. Either that or they don't have enough money yet to upgrade to "touring" bikes at which point they will become either the "Fathers of Conformity" or "We used to be real bikers".

My other favorite motorcycle show is :

you have to do the work of googling this one yourselves

Now I know, most of you reading this have no clue what so ever what Street Hawk is, but I hope by looking at the photo you realized it came from the 80's. Let's just say it is the motorcycle version of Knight Rider with all of the cool taken out of it.

I bet you did not see that coming did you? Who puts The Sons of Anarchy which is one of the most awesome shows on television in the same blog with Street Hawk which only ran 13 episodes from January - May 1985 and had one of the worst t.v. plots ever?  A rebel, that's who......... maybe my "cruiser" bike is starting to change me. Next thing you know, I will be growing a beard, and writing about the biker lifestyle.